How does a woman feel when she makes love for the first time to a man ? Especially if she loves him with all her heart ? Smita felt the same.
But because she had to come back to her own home and cook for her husband, she felt a strange detachment with the events of the day. She had seen the brute side of Saurabh as well his gentle and loving side. He refused to take his eyes off her when he was making love to her. He had insisted on seeing her deep and dark eyes irrespective of sexual position they were in. His eyes were making as much love to her as his body. He was thrusting deep in to her with his eyes and it felt as if he was penetrating her very being and touching her soul.
She thought about all this while going about her daily routine of cooking dinner. When her husband Abhijeet came in to the kitchen to replenish his drink of whisky, Smita was thankful to God that he had not given man the ability to peep in to another human beings mind and read his/ her thoughts. Little did Abhijeet know that she had spent the entire afternoon making crazy love to another woman’s husband. He also did not know that Smita was waiting for Arnav to go to boarding school next week, before taking the next step of her life. Because after they had made love for a couple of hours and were lying exhausted next to each other, Saurabh had once again looked in to her eyes and told her, ‘ I don’t ever want to loose you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. And of course f…ng you.’ And he had heartily laughed like a naughty boy. Saurabh had this great twin sides to him, Smita thought. ‘ He can be like a man in full control and then turn naughty like a boy.’ This brought a smile to her face in the kitchen. She was hardly aware what she was cooking. It was as if the vegetables were cooking themselves with the help of her memory and habit of cooking. The kitchen was a strange place to think such thoughts, especially when Abhijeet entered once again for a refill. She couldn’t wait to get to bed after dinner and replay the entire sequence of events of the afternoon in her mind. She felt like a girl who had made love for the first time in her life. And it was true to a certain extent. She had truly made love for the first time because with her husband Abhijeet it had never gone beyond sex. He was not capable of loving her and she had never been able to accept him as a man or a husband, leave alone a lover. Saurabh was the first man she had truly fallen in love with and also the last without a doubt. For someone like Smita Love happened only once in a lifetime. Or so she thought at the moment.
Smita was so satiated with her one afternoon of love making that she did not meet Saurabh for a couple of days. Plus she did not want to indulge in love making with him so soon. Instead she wanted to enjoy him in her heart. Dream about him. She knew that he had an animalistic side to him and he could soon descend in to the physical and forget about the emotional very quickly. She never wanted him to take her for granted and feel that she was readily available to him as and when his physical urge arose. Smita wanted to navigate this relationship. She had a certain depth of thinking and a maturity beyond her years which Saurabh as a man did not possess. Men were fun loving reckless beings, Smita thought. They were always in a hurry to kill the golden goose. They did not know the ecstasy of longing to meet each other, the touch, the kiss and the occasional love making. They just wanted to go for the kill each time. At least Saurabh was like this. She smiled to herself, loving every bit of his madness, even immaturity.
On the other hand Saurabh’s wife Shipra had flown in back from Amsterdam.
The moment Saurabh had put Rhea to bed, Shipra wanted to know every detail of what had transpired between him and Smita. Saurabh felt shy of telling Shipra what had exactly transpired between Smita and him, but Shipra kept pushing him, so he said,
‘ Okay okay. It happened.’
Ofcourse I know it happened. Why else did I take Rhea with me to Amsterdam? But how was it ? How long ? How was she ?’
‘ You are the pits darling. I am sure no other wife asks her husband for details about his making love to another woman.’ Saurabh burst out laughing, shaking his head.
‘ But I get excited and plus I feel you have all the right to enjoy yourself. I like it when you are happy. I am not like the normal wife who gets jealous if the husband as much as looks at another woman. My love for you is far beyond such petty jealousies. Tell me. Was she a good lay darling ?’
Saurabh again bursts out laughing.
‘ How many times did you guys do it ?’
‘ Only once.’
‘ What ? I was away for five days. I thought every day you guys must be at it.’
‘ She is married Shipra. She has a family and some responsibilities.’
‘ F..k the responsibilities darling. That woman should have left everything for you everyday and come begging for more. Are you sure you are not loosing your charm ..and virility ?’
‘ No way. It was long and strong.’
Shipra became thoughtful. She became silent. A thought entered her mind rather piercingly.
“ This bitch wants to keep him hungry for her. She wants him for a longer period, that’s why she is teasing him so that she can sustain his interest in her forever. Family responsibilities my foot. She is playing a game. I only hope that she hasn’t set her eyes too high. Does she think that she can have him forever ? That she will make him so desperate that he agrees to leave me ? Well if that’s how you want to play it, so be it. I am up for it bitch. Lets see how long you last with him.’
Saurabh lying in the same bed was lost in his own thoughts. He knew that Smita was different than the other women he had slept with. Whether in love or sex, she was very intense. Her intensity fascinated him. Also her subtle strength in resisting him. Of course he wanted her in bed everyday. But she met him just once after their lovemaking. And insisted that they meet in the same mall where they had first set eyes on each other. It was romantic to have coffee in the same coffee shop and hold hands. But then she had made an excuse when he proposed that they come home and make love. She hadn’t looked the least bit tempted, instead she had said that her son was coming back early from school. God knows if it was an excuse or the truth ? He had not thrown a tantrum because he knew that her son was soon going to a boarding school. And that would give her a lot of free time to be with him.
The two of them, Shipra and Saurabh were lost in their own worlds inspite of being in the same bed. Shipra noticed that Saurabh was thinking about something. What else it could be but .. Smita, she thought. She was going to have her hands full with Smita for a long time it seemed.
“ Better to befriend her. That’s the best way to keep tabs on a rival.’ she thought.
Shipra had been sending messages to Smita to meet her. She had even called her a couple of times but Smita was genuinely busy these last few days because her son Arnav was leaving for boarding school in Sanawar.
She was in tears many a times, after all she was a mother. She also felt depressed about his leaving because she was not sure what did the future hold for the three of them. She did not know that when Arnav came back next, would she and Abhijeet still be together ? Or would he come back to a broken home ? If she was with Saurabh would Arnav accept him ? Suddenly she saw that Arnav and her husband Abhijeet were staring at her. She had stopped mid way in his packing and had lost herself in a pool of thoughts. She again started packing his bag.
It seemed as if she was planning a crime in broad daylight and nobody was able to read her thoughts. Her husband had no clue about her many lives and it would certainly come as a rude shock to him when she asked him for a divorce. He may have a heart attack, the poor guy, she thought. He thinks
“We are the best family in town and then me asking for a … divorce?”
Life was a mess, ‘but its better than being mundane.’ She would any day take the mess rather go back to her mundane life, the way it was before she met Saurabh.
The next day after a tearful farewell, Saurav left with Abhijeet. Smita was alone at last. But this time her priority was not to meet Saurabh, instead his wife. Smita had often wondered in between about why Shipra was calling and messaging her. What did she want from her so desperately? Had Saurabh told her about him being in love with her or had he spoken to her about separation? She now wanted to call up Shipra, meet up and find out.
They met in the coffee shop of a five star hotel where Shipra was shopping. After the initial pleasantries and ordering sandwiches and tea, Shipra came to the point straightaway.
‘ So how was it ?’
‘ How was what ?’ Asked Smita
‘ Now dont act so innocent baby. You know what i am asking you about ? said Shipra coyly. ‘ Please dont behave like a conservative middle class girl. Be open.’
Smita was embarrassed and shocked for a few moments. Then she became shameless. Her eyes changed expression and she became vindictive and naughty both, to counter this wife of her lover who was behaving in such a shameful manner.
‘ It was good Shipra ji. Do you want to know the details ?’
Shipra was a little taken aback. She forced a laughter.
‘ Oh no. That he has already told me.’
This shocked Smita. Shipra smiled inwardly seeing her expression change, rejoicing the fact that her words had had devastating effect on Smita.
‘ Does he tell you details about every woman or is it just me ?’
‘ Every woman.’ Shipra said callously. ‘ But of course you are different. I hear that you didn’t give in to him a second time.’
Smita was further shocked at the way her private life was being spoken about by this woman. And of course Saurabh was equally to blame for it because he had told her details about the their private moments. What should have been sacrosanct between the two of them, had now become public knowledge. Smita was sure that Shipra must have shared this news with her female friends, whom she had met at her party. Smita felt almost stripped in the coffee shop. What followed was equally shocking if not more.
‘ Smita i am happy that he has found you. I did rather have one woman in his life than too many of those idle bitches. Lets keep him happy between the two of us. Happy and hooked. You are smart. I know you will keep him interested in yourself for a long time to come. I dont mind sharing him with you. I will remain his wife in the eyes of the world. And you can be his girlfriend or … mistress whatever you may choose to be. He really has the hots for you babes. You must be very good.’ saying this Shipra laughed vulgarly.
Smita felt like a slut. She wanted to run away from all this. But she knew that she will have to confront Saurabh one last time.
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